May 31, 2002

Yes, I've heard that about skyscrapers. They're supposed to sway. But I think ours sways too much. No, we don't feel the sway on the 8th floor. But when the 54th floor does, we hear it...

There's a scene in the Sea Hawk in which Errol Flynn has lead his unit of men back to their ship. When they make their ways back aboard, they set foot on a deserted deck. The ship is swaying, and the timber of the masts is creaking. Creeeee-e-e-e-e-a-k... Creeeee-e-e-e-e-a-k... Kuh-reeeee-e-e-e-e-a-k...

On wind advisory days, when you're in the bathroom, you can hear the timber creeeee-e-e-e-e-a-k. The rest rooms are in front of hidden banks of elevators (the ones which have doors on higher floors), and through the ceiling, where they have those foam squares, it sounds like one more creeeee-e-e-e-e-a-k and the main mast is bound to snap. I hear it's that bad in the men's room as well. Not a pleasant sound when you're in your most vulnerable position. Thoughts of "WE'RE GONNA DIIIIIIE!!!!" ran through my mind last week, as we - amidst the foundation floors - heard creaking even where we worked. All us more recent recruits were total nervous wrecks. The relative veterans barely gave it a thought. Apparently, this is normal.Can you imagine how much the building must sway to generate such a sustained, stressing sound. Sheesh!

DD 12:46pm EST on Friday, May 31, 2002

May 28, 2002

Last January or so I ran late with bills (I wonder why?), and went to the Empire State Bldg to pay my rent on deadline day. The collections agent for our co-op's management corp is on the 79th Floor.

Now, I'm not too thrilled with elevators, especially ones that go bump in the flight like the one in my parents' bldg. Anyway, I'm not too comfortable with the G Force sensation. I start to get panic attacks. Was a time, when I tutored some rich bitch woman who lived on the 45th floor of an exclusive highrise, and hit buttons for every 10 floors to make the journey without hyperventilating.

I had this game plan to get to the 79th Floor. See, the Empire State Bldg has several sets of elevators, and it's possible to play leapfrog from range to range. I had it all figured out. So here I was, taking the first set up to like 6, then the next to 18, then the next to 26...

...and I was trembling. I couldn't go any higher. I was freaking internally while just standing on the 26th floor. I had walked down the corridor to where the next "Up" sign was to continue on the next set of elevators, and just couldn't go on. I gasped in terror while riding back down, and forced myself to tolerate 18-0. I then swallowed what little pride I had remaining from the ordeal and called them. They were kind enough to send a rep down to meet me at the elevators to take the envelope. Man, that was humiliating.

So I guess I really can't go up in high buildings anymore. When I go to the Corsello Center to pick up supplements on the 12th Floor of their bldg, I will hit 8 or 7 if I go up alone. I consider myself very lucky that although I work in a very high skyscraper, the office is on the 8th floor.

Of course, just because one doesn't work on the upper floor of a skyscraper doesn't mean there's no angst to be had from working on a lower floor. I'll elaborate on that later.

DD 12:22pm EST on Tuesday, May 28, 2002

May 27, 2002

If you look at the Exploding Chicken archives, you'll see I got a job for the holiday season with a famous high end mail order company. After weeks of no interviews, they started trickling in by late Februrary. It got so bad I even took interviews in Brooklyn (for non-New Yorkers: Queens people don't do Brooklyn, and Brooklynites don't do Queens).

I got an interview in midtown. It was for a website. For the first time in two years, here was an offer to work in something Internet-related in what I do best: customer support blended with technical assistance. I had a good feeling about it, and I got the impression the interviewer did too (though that's not the first time. I can't tell you how many multi-callbacks I lost out on). The interesting thing is that she almost had the job my previous boss at the mailorder place had, but was hired by this dot-com before. A lucky twist of fate and I told her so. Her interviewer was no longer with that company, and left a week before me to work for Victoria's Secret...

The problem with my previous job was that there was little emphasis on customer satisfaction. There was emphasis on getting the sale and the commission, although I'm not sure what could be gained when the commission is stripped along with a cancelled order (most of our items were exclusive and imported, and could take anywhere from two weeks to a year to arrive for shipping, giving enough time for someone to change their mind if they weren't informed about their item's turnaround time when the sale was made). Yes, you might say we had a great deal of damage control calls...

...So you can imagine how odd it was those months, telling people why I was fired but how they ran their operation, and that it wasn't the sort of position I would want to apply for - for my own conscience. I actually said that. (They messed up three orders out of three orders for me during December - and I was an employee! Meanwhile, there was a sale on these really really cool Spode plates from a rival company, and I got a pair of them and the service was so good [and the sale still on] that I got another pair. My dinner plates rule!)

Well, this must have jived with this establishment, because I was hired a week later and started a week after that.

It was a whole new world for me: working for a major corporate dotcom for - er - a high profile weight loss organization. I was one of five new customer support reps added to the team. It's a laid back environment, something I am not accustomed to. Laid back but still productive - a good combination. And customer satisfaction important to maintain. After all, there's a 30+ year reputation by the mother company to uphold. We get rewarded for our achievements, having thus far enjoyed free lunches, breakfasts, extended lunch breaks, and getting out early. Hey, we're that good. By midweek, we're caught up and battling over who gets the next Email to answer. ;)

The kitchen area has free coffee, milk, soda, oatmeal, and popcorn. Wow, right? A couple of times, we got an interoffice Email like "There's pizza in the kitchen," and someone once bought bagels. Occasionally, some candybars with the company imprint were passed around (I gave mine to Dad when I saw him, since I can't eat dairy or sugar). For a company running a diet plan, there's sure a lot of food about!

The guy beyond my monitor and facing me is Anthony. He's a Voyager fan too, which helps. See, on April Fool's Day I brought Leonard the Iguanna into work (see the December 1st, 2001 entry of The Exploding Chicken for more about Leonard), and things just went from there. Now I have a permanent Tuvok at work, which Anthony and I take turns posing at our desk. Anthony also has this -- this cow. Someone else now has a Michael Jackson doll (I thought it was a white chick when I first saw it - scary!), and others have begun to bring dolls. Someone in another department has the same Croc Hunter action figure I have.

I've come home...

DD 9:25pm EST on Monday, May 27, 2002

I would have entered this in Blogger if they hadn't failed me. I suppose this is a happy accident? (Admittedly, with Greymatter I find myself struggling with someone else's sourcecodes and half-explained descriptions, presented with an air as though a child could make something of this. I'll just have to wait and see as the blog develops what features need to be added or tweaked. Their concept of inserting a calendar for archived posts escapes me entirely. But let's face it: with all the stumbling I do, this is readable, the site looks pretty cool at this moment in my life, and it's all in my own webspace where I generate these journal entries myself) I'll follow the instructions Blogger posted in an obscure corner of their website and see if I can restore the pages myself.

*GASSSP!* Ohmigod it worked! My posts are back! (and just in time for me to save all of them for archiving on here NYAHAHAAAAAA!)Okay so I got sidetracked. I wanted to tell you about my job. Or rather, my dayjob.I'll tell you later. I want to generate another weirdie clipart line first.

DD 4:00pm EST on Monday, May 27, 2002

I should mention here that I hope to have a link to all my previous blog entries which Blogger has allegedly temporarily misplaced. I'm no doubt not the only writer whose hard work has been snapped up into oblivion. We were all deceived into believing that pyra was our friend. Therefore, until they locate these files and I can link to them, I'm afraid I can't offer the complete archives.

DD 3:30pm EST on Monday, May 27, 2002

Pay homage to the fallen,
For it is because of them that you are standing...

I'm eating something Grandma called "Matzoh Krimsel," and I'm sure I spelled the second word wrong. It's sort of like French Toast with Matza. I put blueberry preserves on it instead of syrup (no sucrose).

I know this must all sound very interesting to you. It's ironic that now that I've got Blognaymous functioning, I don't know what to write. I had so many concepts to purge my mind of while constructing this. It's still under construction, with arrows and a home link to design, plus a calendar for navigating the archives by month to install. I suppose I'm just on the edge of feeling at home, but not quite sunk into the couch yet...

Perhaps I should explain the symbols across the top of this page. This isn't the first time I've used pictures instead of words as a title logo (Even though you can see on your window bar that this blog is called "Blognanymous").

• The symbol of the engima is what Errol Flynn took as a personal insignia in a futile attempt to label and thereby learn more about himself. He monogrammed everything with this square question mark, starting sometime in the mid-1940's. In a travelog film he made called "The Cruise of the Zaca," the flag of said boat sported a question mark.

• The Eye of Providence, or "all-seeing eye" is my personal insignia. I suppose the influence is Dr. Strange's Eye of Agamotto, which shines a light of truth on people, and burns the guilty as their crimes are revealed.

• Starfleet Medical: This one I took as a screen capture off an avi file of an episode of Star Trek Voyager. It was on the Doctor's laptop. I couldn't begin to explain why fictional doctors keep showing up in my sphere of influence. A brief speculation would be because I hold hope that somewhere, sometime, medicine will be competent in study and practice.

• The skylight of Doctor Strange's Sanctum Sanctorum has been drawn and depicted many times. Frank Brunner came up with the best in design terms (three lines). But don't mess with the original; this was designed by Steve Ditko. When I was a teen, I drew comics about me being Strange's realworld apprentice. Today, I practice magick on my own. It's nothing like the comics, but it works, it's real, and IMHO the most ethical form of spiritual practice. See "Science of Magick" in the links for the specifics.

• J. R. "Bob" Dobbs from the Church of the SubGenius. "Freedom of choice is what you've got, freedom from choice is what you want..."

• My artwork signature abbreviated to the Japanese equivalent of ©DD. I taught myself Japanese Kana when I was 12. That's two basic alphabets of about 50ish elements each.

DD 8:37am EST on Monday, May 27, 2002